Below are the 16 most recent journal entries recorded in rawrryan's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, October 24th, 2006
9:28 pm	yeah. its been a while. but here's the just of it. started school at southern lakes... i hate it. had a few relationships that didnt work out... nothing new. im actually single for once in my life... and i've quit all the shit im sure you've all heard rumors of. thats about it. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, June 26th, 2006
6:38 pm	yeah. alots going on lately. hanging out with devon. missing bill. hanging out with carrie. (nothings happening between us), i still like erica.. a lot, despite her efforts not to be with me. going camping with carrie for about a week. going to niagra falls before that with my brohams. dont really wanna go to that but whatev. pretty much a victim of lust.. and i hate it. still haven't finished hah. its cool though. thats about all. Current Mood: i miss her. (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 18th, 2006
10:44 am	yeah, so alot has been going on. been hanging out with my brother devon a lot lately. started drinking. met a girl that i really like coughericacough. lost my V-card :-/ couldn't finish after a few hours, kinda depresses me, but whatev. going to bill's show with him today, should be rad. devons finally got a girl that i approve of.. which is pretty gnarly. meh. life is good right now. i miss hanging out with bill more tho,, it kinda seems like we're drifting apart, which saddens me because its my fault, and hes my bestfriend in the world. and if anything were to happen between us.. i'd kill the nig that caused it. ibustcaps nucka Current Mood: fuck (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 4th, 2006
10:07 pm	yeah, so today. i pretty much sat around and did nothing. but i did call ashley, to apologize.. that made me feel good, because i've missed her so. she's so rad to talk to, because she's always so happy, and she just brings the bright side out of everything. we planned what she called an "icecream date". it sounds rad tho, so im down for whatev. leaving this weekend for Southlyon, to hang out with colton and Jasmine. should be fun. carries still got a thing with mattwayne, so thats not going down anymore. whatev. bills my bestfriend. and i dont know what ima do when he goes to college and whatnot, because he's got a social life, unlike me lol. whatev. im in a good mood. Current Mood: woah. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 3rd, 2006
3:54 pm	yeah. bills birthday. woot. fuck a bitch calli's a cunt. i hope she dies. its cool though. shannons rad. pretty much the only girl that i can stand right about now. carries still grounded.. aka we're still not together. bill gave me the okay though. so im kinda excited bout that. went to college with him today, we decided we want to beat some guy up, cuz we're badasses. the show last night was okay, bill and i got wet with 13 year olds (oooooh yeahhh), while shannon sat in the van cuz she's lame. i quit smoking, cuz im rad, and for bills bday. whatev. shoot me dead. Current Mood: i'll punch her in the face. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 23rd, 2006
10:55 pm	Yeah, so i havn't been the greatest lately. but whatev. Friday- natalie fight show.. then went to anthony's with joe ford, devon and all them .. ashley ended up getting stolen. devon got a ticket. rough night saturday- went to party at kT's house with bill, dint really do anything, talked on the phoen with ashley for bout an hour,, then went and slept in KT's parents room. Sunday- Hung out with bill, went to church twice. twas a good day. so im completely crushing this girl.. but it seems like im everything that she doesnt want in a guy... im an ass hole. i get jealous way too easy, and im " a fighter" which is the exact opposite of what she wants.. so i pretty much quit. i quit smoking, because she doesnt like it.. even though she dint care whether i did or not,, and im giving up on fighting, because im just so depressed all the time it doesnt matter anyways.. so i guess the only good part of this weekend was church, and that i got snakebites. Tonight- hung out with bill at mega, went home, carrie came and got me, we went and got steph, devon was there. hung out there for a bit, kinda sucked because im always depressed. so now i have carries car here.. and i dont really wanna be here. but i dont want to leave because its her gas. <dead3 Current Mood: depressed (Comment on this)
Friday, May 19th, 2006
3:21 pm	real excited natalie fight show tonight :-]] should be rad snake bites this weekend. hopefully hanging out with ashley . :-]] its gonna be a good weekend Current Mood: excited (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 17th, 2006
10:33 pm	Fuck Tonight Everything sucks i kidna dont want to live right now. but im not a little emo bitch. so im not gonna take the easy way out. i pretty much loathe my step dad. and how he treats me like im 2. i have no where to go.. because i have no car. they're telling me to change.. when i dont know anything else to be. i'm sick. i'm confused. i'm angry. i'm depressed. and nothing works. my parents are willingly admitting that i fuck up everything in there relationship and my moms signing me up for counseling.. which i have no way to get to because she works all the goddamn time. and she's not fixing my car. <dead3 Current Mood: indescribable (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 14th, 2006
7:50 pm	Friday-- hung out with devon, went to the mega, met some new people. hung out with ashley and calli., went to a party, crashed at dave thomas's saturday--went to show with bill, went to a party with ashley and calli, drama happend, calli left. bill came and got us all at about 4 30, went to shaps,, then all of us slept over at williams. sunday-- woke up in a really good mood around 11, after not going to bed til around 7. took ashley and calil back to sarahs around oneish, went to grammas, slept through dinner and everythign over there. woke up, came home Current Mood: lonely (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 10th, 2006
10:08 pm	yeah.. kaitlin blew me off today. that sucked. really pisses me off actually, but whatev. she's just like most girls appearantly. went to mega with devon,, bunch of people showed up. saw bill and rex for a bit.. that was when i was feeling better then i call kaitlin,, right when church is starting and she's just like yeah im not coming, so yeah. that hurts but whatev... as im told.. girls can't be with a virgin fuck you Current Mood: angry (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, May 8th, 2006
1:10 pm	yeah. so this weekend was fun. friday-crashed at carries saturday- hung out with bill, went to a show, went to nates, slept over there.. sunday,, hung out with bill and mari,, then went over to carries.. drove her to flint. went over to stephanies,, saw her and devon.. im kinda worried bout devon. but whatev. came home.. found out my computer crashed.. that sucks because now i have no way to get ahold of anyone. i miss kaitlin. and im sick of other girls messing with my head. ima finda way to get ahold of bill.. see if maybe i can go to band practice with him tonight or somthing. who knows Current Mood: frustrated (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 4th, 2006
11:00 pm	tonight was sweet i got to hang out with kaitlin., and now i know for a fact that i really really do li ke this girl a lot. we went to the show, and dint even go in. we just hung out. and talked. and walked around. it was pretty rad. i seriously want to get together with her.. but we both decided we should hang out some more first.. so we know eachother more or whatev,, which is fine in my book. i have nothing going on this weekend.. so i think ima find a way to see her, somehow. i dunno,, i was all happy,, but now that im writing this, i just miss her. and that makes me really upset.. idunno whatev. Current Mood: loved (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 3rd, 2006
6:30 am	yesterday, i hung out with bill, and rex. band practice seemed like it was going on forever, but it was all worth it because i had the most delicious double cheeseburger after it. Last Night i talked to Kaitlin for a while, online, and on the phone... and im not gonna lie, i really like this girl. she's straight forward, doesn't slit her wrists, isn't depressing to talk to, and isn't fucking emo, thank god for that :-]] im still grounded,, but my car gets fixed this weekend... the trans at least,, wednesday the dent should be out. im pretty excited about hanging out with devon, and gettting to see kaitlin again tonight. it should be pretty rad, devons coming to pick me up around 4, and then we're goign to the mega, then church. thats about it Current Mood: anxious (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 30th, 2006
8:51 pm	friday-- exit mindbomb show,, wasnt that good. but there was this tight ass band called Remembrance.. Bill and i had to beg brandon and sean to stay, but it was well worth it. yesterday-- Bled Fest was sooooo rad. Monte was there, and i like them ALOT,, they had no vocals tho. so that was kinda lame.. blood on the hands of the betrayed was sooo fucking tiight tho. so was nihilist. bill left early, so i was kinda alone, because devon was off in his little world or whatev,, because he's a whore like that lol. so i was just sitting there chilling with Kaitlin,, this extremely hott girl that i kinda have a thing for now,, i dont know tho, because we've only been talking for about a half a week, she's pretty rad tho, we'll see because.. now im single :-D (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 27th, 2006
11:09 am	Yeah. so i really miss all my friends. and i hate how i can't see them. they all think i dont really care, or miss them, little do they know they're pretty much my life. i feel all alone in this house. its not like i can really leave though. i miss eating lunch at school. i havn't done that in a while. i miss being made fun of. i miss doing stupid shit just to entertain people. i feel like im in a cage. but i guess its my fault for doing dumb shit to begin with. yeah.. so now that i have to fix my car... i have to stay an extra year in high school instead of doing the things to catch up, like summer school, night school, and correspondence like i planned on doing. i just messed up so bad this time. i hate it. now all my friends are gonna be out of high school, and i'll just be hanging out alone. i'd say i'd be hanging out with carrie, but she's switching. and that makes me sad, i'll be graduating with a class that hates me. i wish i could go back in time. and not have messed up so bad. Current Mood: lonely (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 25th, 2006
2:31 pm	yeah, so yesterday was pretty rough. i got suspended for the fourth time this year. that part wasnt that bad. but on my way to drop rex off because we both got kicked out of school, i crashed my new car. my mom was flipping out and everything. telling me that everything wrong in her life is my fault. so i came home.. and took some nyquil pills * a lot* and slept all day bill stopped by,, i dont really remember much of it, but im glad he did. it helped me out. devon stopped by later. that was pretty cool too. but yeah.. i now have no license or car. so im equally fucked there. and i just want out of my house. i really can't stand it here right now. i can't not be around people. and thats how it is right now. i just want to leave. i've been puking all day.. as well as all last night. whatev. tho. Current Mood: depressed (4 Comments |Comment on this)